Wednesday, October 18, 2006


I've done a few bits for a lad I met on musofinder a while back, kept saying I'd stick a link up for them and never did..

Well, for the most recent I only managed to send the lyrics through because of various technical difficulties with home recording, he's a resourceful type though and from this:

I thought you were my heartbeat
the rock I stood upon
but you were just a resting ground and now I'm moving on

The signs were in the open
but my heart had blinded me
I lied to myself
claimed you were just the man for me
but now my eyes are open
there's nowhere left to hide
the truth is inescapable
my love for you has died

i never meant to hurt you
that guilt will never fade
I wish you every happiness
but my heart won't let me stay
I have no other lover
there's no one else to blame
it's a sad and simple fact my dear
I just don't feel the same

I hate to see you crying
like your life is torn in two
It hurts me more than I can say
doing this to you
but it's kinder to be cruel
than to let you carry on
believing that I loved you still
when all my love has gone

I wanted this to work
much more than you could ever know
but the truth is inescapable
that's why I have to go
One day you will thank me
but for now I share your pain
Next time I'll be careful
not to deceive myself again

He made this

Not quite how I'd imagined it going *grin* but then it never is with Paul lol

Take this one for example:
'Behind my eyes'

This was our first collaboration, he just asked me for some 'dark' 'odd' spoken samples. I have to admit, I got a little carried away thankfully not everything I sent was used, and I didn't send him everything I did lol it was just a leeeeeeetle bit on the worrying side.
In my defense I took my first piece of inspiration from a book by Alan Dean Foster called 'Into the out of' and it is a freaky book but man did my imagination get going..

The second example is even more at odds with the samples I sent him, I'd worked up a complete song against the arrangement he'd emailed me, he wanted to do a 'tongue in cheek 80's thing'

These were the lyrics I sang and sent him:

Do you really want to hurt me
Is there something I should know
Don't, don't you want me
Should I stay or should I go

Take my breathe away again
the sweetest thing I've ever known
I'll be loving you forever
never gonna let you go

I gave you my heart
when the tigers broke free
lover come back to me
all of my heart
breathe life into me
that's love in the first degree
give me back my heart
i want to break free
don't stand so close to me

and if you listen to it you'll see he actually only used about 4 lines in total *sniff* I was a tad gutted because it took me ages to get lyrics that sounded almost natural using only song titles from the 80's..

anyway, here's:

'Orange Street'

Sunday, May 28, 2006

A challenge!

I saw this today on a cfs poetry blog:


My body has been kidnapped,
Parts of my memory too.
By a very cunning thief
Disguised from Dr.'s view.

He replaced me with a shadow
Of the former self I knew.
So, as not to raise alarm
Of the goods that he accrued.

He disguised himself, completely
As he entered through my door.
Taking all he wanted, then,
Squeezing me for more.

A most deceiving enemy,
This illness can it be.
For, not so very long ago,
It kidnapped me from me.

And it reminded me of a conversation I had via email a while back. Someone asked me why I don't write about my illness, the truth is - because I have a blog dedicated to whinging about it, the thought never crosed my mind to put it in lyric form.
I fail to see how I could express it more perfectly than that so I may never bother, but then again... I might.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Fairy tales...

Okies, I've started this one in response to the latest Michelle challenge, but a pounding headache, late hour and knowledge of impending hospital appointment, mean i'm just gonna leave it as is for now - maybe i'll get back to it tomorrow when I get back, you never know...

Once upon a time there lived a handsome prince.
At least, that’s what all the story books say. I feel that it does a person well to remember that story books are merely out of date newspapers with not a decent photograph between them.

Anyway, back to our ‘Once upon a time…’
There was once a (moderately attractive) young man going by the title of ‘Prince Albert Von Shittenhousen’.
Nobody knows why he wanted this particular title since his name was actually Richard Lewis Hopper, but the fact remains, anyone overheard disregarding his chosen title received 10 lashes from the whip of the week.
(His father tried to dissuade the practice but… Well, what can you do? Kids these days eh?)
Prince Albert was, on the whole, a quiet chap. He had a tendency to wander around the palace in a melancholy fashion, but as long as you remembered to never call him Richard, he was a fairly lovable sort.
The problem with our hero was that age old failing, he was misunderstood, alone amongst a throng of others – he was lonely.
He had been betrothed at one time, a lady of inestimable beauty and elegance had been ‘procured’ for him.
Sadly, upon their betrothal the lady in question asked him why he refused to be called Richard and teasingly tried to pry the answer from her new husband-to-be despite several warnings.
Nobody ever found the body.
Nobody questioned the need for one.
Our Prince Albert was a most thorough chap.

One day his mother called him to her quarters, an unusual event as she seldom spoke to her son believing him to be unhinged.< "Ri… Albert" She said, "I have a task for you - a quest if you will, something to exercise that marvellous mind of yours." "Certainly mother" he replied, Of course he was hardly listening to her, his attention being too acutely focused on the whispering servants behind the curtain. (His mothers servants were the only people spared the whip, his mother disapproved...)

"Look at me Ri… Albert! I demand your full attention; you will need to listen very closely to what I have planned for you if you are to succeed in this task!"

He snapped his attention back to her face, noting in passing how much older she looked since the last time they had conversed; the night of his failed betrothal.

"Yes, I’m sorry mother, it must be important if you have called me here, I apologise for my inattentiveness. Please, continue."

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Till the next time...

I'm here, I'm in that place again
the place where I can write
The place where I can stand and scream
Or sit alone
and cry

I'm here because I want to be
This has to be the truth
Alone and lost, misunderstood
and hurt and raw,

Why do I let life drag me down?
Afraid that no-one cares
It's all my fault, I'm in the wrong
I'm stupid, dumb,

You think by now I'd move along
I'd learn how not to care
Look after only no. 1
This lesson's learned

Monday, February 14, 2005


What do I think when I'm thinking of you?
(Apart from the nagging and bullying you do)
Well, cuddles and laughter spring straight to my mind,
Then mindblowing sex - yup that's most of the time.
The first man to make me... (well you know the rest)
It's easy to see why I think You're the best.
You cook and you clean and make me do the same,
If we shared the same house then I'd drive you insane,
But all that apart what we have is amazing -
I love you my dearest, my darling, my baby.

(If he actually reads this I think he'd either kill me or tease me forever about it. We'll see, now to just sit back and wait for Hallmark to start ringing...)

Sunday, February 13, 2005

All's good here

Feeling brighter inside than I have done for days
Chipper and chirpy, Yes outside's the same
Smiling and happy, content in my heart
Singing aloud, turning joy into art

I've been neglecting this and my music blog so it's time to change that. Tomorrow I'll be posting one just for mah bouyyyyyyyyyy...
(Since I don't think he reads this one it'll be a surprise *grin*)

...That's assuming I don't get a massive dose of writers block anyhow lol

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Love? Don't talk to me about love...

For every woman
There’s only one man
He’ll give your life meaning
Like nothing else can
For every guy
There is only one girl
And for him she’ll become
The true heart of his world

This I was taught
And this I believed
Wasted years of my life
Trying to make it real
I’ve met so many guys
Whom I thought were ‘the one’
I’ve tried so many times
My belief has now gone

For every season
The pattern must change
An ongoing cycle
Of sunshine and rain
For every liaison,
The timing is wrong
The start is too sudden
Suddenly it’s all gone.

And yet still I find myself wanting the dream... bizarre huh? Maybe someone should try an experiment along the lines of 'the truman show' Bring up a bunch of kids without any knowledge of societys ideals regarding love and marriage... what would they turn out like? How would this be possible? Lets face it - everything we do is ultimately geared towards finding a mate, settling down and raising at least one or two ankle biters.
Hmmm... perhaps I should think on this some more and post to my main blog... we shall see.

People, time and nature

Elements of being

Falling iridescence
a waterfall of mist
reaching out with both hands
trying to catch natures kiss
fire burning brightly
like a living jewel
ravenously hungry
how can beauty be so cruel?
wander through the seasons
living day to day
savoring each moment
as it swiftly flies away


Leave those shattered dreams behind you
Walk into an open sky
Leave behind what could remind you
Learn to live another lie

Taking on the future
Never looking back
Sundering the ties that bind you
Walk along an open track

Moving on complete with hindsight
Kiss your hopes and fears goodbye
Wondering about tomorrow
Yesterday deserved to die

Taking on the future
Surrendering the past
Sundering the ties that bind you
Knowing nothing ever lasts.

Common people

Working to pay for the drugs and the drink
Spend your life in a haze so you don’t have to think
About love, life, sobriety’s intrusion
Today we exist in a state of confusion
No longer looking, pretending we do -
Of course I don’t mean me,
This applies just to you
And to him and to her
And the family next door
You drink and you breed - what’s the point anymore?
You’ll talk late at night
And have all the answers
Or go to a club
just to fight with the bouncers,
Don’t know what you want

You pretend you don’t care
Your unseen aspirations dissolve in the air
Childhood and innocence - things of the past
Life is a race and you’re coming in last.
Sometimes I wonder just where we went wrong
Why is there no one who feel they belong
To the life that they lead or the people they know
Smoking or drinking some more alcohol
Maybe using a needle or snorting a pill
The whole worlds gone crazy,
I’ve just had my fill
Of people complaining, yet I do it too
But this doesn’t mean
I’m anything like you
There’s a reason for living
Or so I’ve been told
That doesn’t revolve around cashing the dole,
Develop some morals
- Learn common sense
Ignorance isn’t a valid defence
Just stop, look; take in what’s around
For once actually listen,
Don’t just register sound.